Pink Bunny PhilippinesWhen it comes to sex and sexuality, there are specific topics that many couples shy away from. Preconceived notions and societal pressures often fuel these taboos. Moreover, some think addressing them could open a Pandora’s box and harm their relationship.
However, the opposite is true. Talking about these sensitive topics can bring you and your partner closer and help you understand each other’s needs more deeply. In this blog, we’ll explore common sexual taboos that often remain hidden. We’ll also explain why breaking these barriers can strengthen your relationship.
Top 10 Sexual Taboos in Relationships
Talking about sex openly
Many people struggle to discuss sexual topics openly with their partners due to fear of judgment or embarrassment. This lack of open communication can lead to misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and decreased intimacy. It can also hinder the development of a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.
How to talk about it: Create a safe and supportive environment where you and your partner can share your thoughts and feelings.
For instance, try bringing up one topic at a time. You can ease in with a discussion about your fantasies if you have any. Being vulnerable might encourage your partner to do the same.
Sexual Fantasies
Non-monogamy, roleplay, and outdoor sex are some fantasies that a lot of people have. And guess what: they’re perfectly normal. They only become unhealthy if you obsess or act upon them and hurt other people in the process.
Nonetheless, it’s imperative to discuss your fantasies with your partner to improve your intimacy. Or else, you or they might feel isolated or dissatisfied in bed.
How you can talk about it: When sharing your fantasies, focus on understanding and acceptance rather than criticism or embarrassment. Let’s say you want to be blindfolded while having sex. Ensure everything is safe, sane, and consensual (SSC). Set a safe word and some boundaries, and prioritize aftercare.
Sex without penetration
Many people believe sex is all about penetration, but that limits the experience. In reality, there’s no single way to reach orgasm. Many women need clitoral stimulation, not just penetration, to feel satisfied. Moreover, focusing on penetration can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction or boredom.
How you can talk about it: Consider exploring different forms of sexual pleasure together and communicate openly about your preferences and desires. You can try different positions or dialogues to know what you and your partner are comfortable with.
Using sex toys
Using and buying sex toys is a great way to explore your sexual needs and achieve pleasure. However, many cultures often stigmatize or consider them taboo. Some people even think it’s a form of cheating.
How you can talk about it: First, decide if you want to tell your partner about your need for sex toys or keep it private. If you choose to share, be honest and gentle. Make it clear that using toys doesn’t replace their role in your relationship. Frame your desire as a way to improve intimacy and pleasure for both of you, not as something scary.
Remember, your sexual needs are valid. You have the right to express them without fear of judgment. If your partner reacts negatively or tries to control you, you should stand firm or suggest a compromise.
Performance anxiety
Are you worried about not meeting your partner’s expectations in bed? Are you conscious about your body or weight? You might have performance anxiety. It can cause stress, anxiety, and less enjoyment during sex. Additionally, it can affect intimacy and communication between you and your partner.
How you can talk about it: If you’re dealing with ongoing anxiety, consider seeing a doctor to check for health issues or medication side effects. If everything’s okay, talking to a therapist who specializes in sexual problems can help you manage your anxiety and improve control.
Alternatively, you can talk to your partner and explore intimacy without intercourse. Give each other sensual massages or take warm baths together. You can also take turns with mutual masturbation to reduce performance pressure.
Casual sex
Some people like casual sex. This term means having sexual encounters without any emotional ties. For them, it’s a fun way to enjoy themselves, similar to exercising. While casual sex can be enjoyable, it can also cause misunderstandings or hurt feelings if you and your partner don’t communicate clearly about your expectations.
How to talk about it: Talk openly with your partner about expectations and feelings, ensuring consent and respect for boundaries. Remember that everyone has different perspectives on casual sex, and it’s crucial to celebrate those differences without judgment.
Watching porn
Pornography can be exciting, but it can also create unrealistic expectations which can range from physical looks of unshaven contoured bodies to duration of how long the act takes. This can cause dissatisfaction if you and your partner don’t talk about it openly. Some people even see it as cheating, as it might suggest their significant others aren’t happy with their real-life experiences.
How you can talk about it: If you or your partner has a porn addiction, talk about how it makes you feel without interruptions or judgment. You can also approach a therapist to learn how to navigate this issue. If it’s just casual watching, consider how it affects you and your partner and reflect on your values and beliefs.
Sexual health concerns
Discussing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or contraception can be uncomfortable or embarrassing. Some might even think that bringing them up suggests distrust in the relationship.
However, open communication about sexual or reproductive health is essential for maintaining a healthy and safe relationship. Avoiding these conversations can lead to increased risks and misunderstandings.
How you can talk about it: Talk to your partner privately so both of you feel safe and comfortable. Then, discuss your concerns before you have sex, not during. See it as a healthy conversation rather than an intimidating investigation.
Sexual histories
Talking about your exes is already a difficult conversation to begin with. What more about your and your partner’s sexual histories?
How to talk about it: Approach the conversation with empathy and respect. Focus on understanding and building trust rather than judgment or blame. They’re called history for a reason—leave the past where it should be.
Self-pleasure
Masturbating is often viewed as taboo or immoral, especially in certain cultures or religions. However, it’s normal and a healthy part of sexual expression. It can enhance self-awareness and improve overall sexual satisfaction.
How you can talk about it: Discuss self-pleasure openly and honestly with your partner. Think of it as their way of understanding your or their needs and performing better in bed.
Break the Silence about Sexual Taboos
Every relationship has its dynamics, and what feels taboo for some may be perfectly normal for others. The key takeaway is that communication is everything. Breaking the silence around these topics can remove the stigma around sex and create a space where you and your partner feel valued and understood. Start the conversation today!
